Maladaptive Daydreaming

I'm only aware of my own thoughts and feelings, I'm also still newly researching what I have discovered my daydreaming to be maladaptive and in my case, dangerous towards myself. My most recently distressing daydream in as much detail as I can so you can undestand:

I am in a relationship with a guy who has two kids (around two year old twins), for some reason, I favour one of the kids over the other and and instead of saying something, I casually let it happen and let my boyfrnd think that the other twin is living with me for many years until I finally came forward because I felt so much guilt over what could have been happening to the kid an I admitted to havin not reported the kid misding to anyone, not even the police. I completely felt lik gagging andcontinued screaming, begging and crying even thoug no one believed me. I cant get oer the fact that "I" allowed that to happen, didnt report it or even casually left a kid that young alone in public.

I still physically sick even though I know it isnt real and the real me could never even think to do such a thing let alone actually ****ing do it. I feel physically ****ing ill, my anxiety has been through the roof since this daydream has started, I havent had one like this before and its freaking me out. Its completely scaring me.

I have downloaded some helpful guides and workbooks onto my kindle with what they say to be helpful in stopping Maladaptive Daydreming, I'm well aware that just reading a book and journaling wont do me any good on their own without actually fighing off daydreams thenselves. This daydreaming of mine has been going on for at least a little under five years now, much like others I didnt catch on until I was in deep, I also tend to physically react, the usual pacing, facial expressions or what I havent seen posted or talked about, silent or almost silent screaming or at my worst, self harm (hitting, scratching, biting, hair pulling)

I want try and mitigate these issues in a healthy way, any suggestions are of course welcome but I really just need reassurance, I know starting to stop maladaptive daydreamikng can be tough.