Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

Time to change to a new thread. I'll ask the mods to close the last thread and will put the link on the old one.

I have too much to catch up on right now. I had awful sleep the night before last. Finally, took my prn muscle relaxer with some melatonin and slept nearly 12 hr. straight. Still having issues with MSF freezing randomly on me.

I feel SO much better after getting some sleep! I took a power walk, had great energy. Showered, had breakfast, read with the SAD lamp, did a load of laundry. I drew 3 pictures, had to spend a lot of time on the jack-in-the-box and the anaconda beause of the twists of coils for the jack-in-the box and the overlapping areas of the anaconda. Drew a flying seagull outline to color or shade tomorrow.

I'm fixing to leave with my daughter; her prom is this weekend, and we have to pick up her dress after the alterations (and hopefully it fits right!).

Hope everyone has a great day!

I got the results of my CT scan but I don't understand them except moderate hiatal hernia.

Anyways I feel pretty good so far. My stomach has been fine except when I got out of the shower this morning and got lightheaded or dizzy or something but my heart was racing really hard and I threw up. But that was the first time in a couple days.

I get my eyes dilated in a couple hours. I'm not that stressed out about it. I feel pretty calm today overall.

My mom is getting a new car in the next few days. She is looking at one with heated seats. Which will be good with how cold I get. I guess she is looking now because of all the stuff in the news and how many miles the car we have has on it.

Completely overwhelmed today. I'm not coping very well. Lots of stressors.

I can’t deal with today! Read my prophet post for details. My meds aren’t working!!!

Saturday morning and I’ve woken up with an iffy headache. Waiting before I take painkillers. Going to see if this coffee helps. Will be taking my son for swimming lessons then I’m not sure. My son wants to go to the mall. He wants a toy matchbox car. I’m not sure I’m a bit divided.

I went to the eye doctor. I thought you were basically blind after getting your eyes dilated. I can see just things are a bit blurry and I have to hold my phone away from me to see it.

She did find a small cataract in both eyes. She was like "this is so weird." But she said they are both small so its not something to do anything about right now. She said to see her for my annual visit in a year.

Everyone is still like "wtf" because of my age. But at least its nothing to worry about right now.

Today turned out better than I was thinking it would. I was pretty alert and fine to drive. Had a nice lunch at Olive Garden with my sister and bil. Talked a bit about the cousin picnic that it’s our turn to host. Then got my car looked at. Every thing is in fine shape. Now that I’m home the lack of sleep is really catching up to me. Not sure I’m up to doing my drawing tonight. Thinking of hitting the hay early tonight.

@Nammu Sometimes you just have to take a break from drawing. Most days, I draw or try to, but yesterday when I had next to no sleep, the most important thing to me was trying to get some sleep. And if you're not having fun drawing, there's really no point to doing it. BTW, weren't those cat eye's so much fun to draw? That was one of my favorite things to draw...but I've had a lot of favorites really. And some things I never thought I could draw turned out though that silly alligator eludes me. Still, it took me something like 5 tries to draw the tiptoes (I think that is in Holmes How to Draw Awesome Stuff book) which a lot of the drawings in there, I haven't come close to mastering and a lot of the drawings are just weird (but it did have some fun eye drawings in there).

I’m seeing so many reels of the earthquake near Bangkok on my Facebook news feed. Terrible. So destructive.

Yeah, that’s true. I got zero sleep last night and now after that driving I’m just ready to crash. But I’m keeping myself awake until about 8. I figure 8 would be late enough that I won’t be up too early. Plus it’s in the 80’s today so I have to wait for it to cool down. Not turning on the AC cause tomorrow’s high is 50. The weather is so crazy.

Yes the cat eyes were so fun to draw. The elephant was easy too.

Had a pretty active day. Did my 30 min morning walk outside then did 30 minutes on the treadmill. Read a bit. Bingo was cancelled.

This weekend is gonna be busy. I’m trying to fit in violin practice and art everyday and exercise and reading. I have to go to my volunteer job tomorrow to pick up some of the soups I bought from the soups for strays fundraiser. Will take the bus there. Then when I get back I’m getting on the treadmill, practicing violin, doing some artwork and then finally relaxing and reading before bed. Sundays gonna be busy too. It’s my friends birthday. So earlier in the day I’m gonna walk to the store to get milk. Then clean my whole apartment thoroughly. Then have dinner with her in the evening and give her the gifts I got her.

Anyway, I’ve been doing really well. Dissociating a lot less and when I do I’m able to stop it pretty fast with some distress tolerance/coping techniques. Glad to be back into exercising regularly and getting out of the house daily too. My mental health is a lot better when I’m exercising daily. My mood is really good. I feel great. I’m very motivated. Prioritizing sleep is helpful too. I don’t pull all nighters anymore and I read before bed and put my phone away about an hour before sleep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yeah, that’s true. I got zero sleep last night and now after that driving I’m just ready to crash. But I’m keeping myself awake until about 8. I figure 8 would be late enough that I won’t be up too early. Plus it’s in the 80’s today so I have to wait for it to cool down. Not turning on the AC cause tomorrow’s high is 50. The weather is so crazy. Yes the cat eyes were so fun to draw. The elephant was easy too.

I was surprised too when I found I wasn't bad at drawing elephants. There was another maybe in the nature book? I did even better the 2nd time around. A lot of those animals turned out to be easier than I thought they would be to draw. I found bears and birds all fairly easy as well. Some of the animals I never thought I'd be able to draw like the jellyfish turned out beautifully. You never know until you try!

Now I’m crying. I need help

Well my doctor got back with the results and its
He is putting my on a cholesterol med and reffering me to a cardiolgist. He said its not clogging my arteries so like the cataracts we just need to keep an eye on it with meds and ****.

Oh that must be really rough @Moose72 - do you have any help lines your providers give you?

Feel free to PM me.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

I PMed you. @CANDC

Today was another good day. The students took a test-I'm happy with what the class averages are. We had a meeting after school and then I was able to get a walk in. My Friday laundry is in the dryer right now. Once it's done, I'll probably save the folding for tomorrow and head to bed. Not to much going on this weekend. I get IV fluids tomorrow and need to find some school appropriate movies, that are free on Prime or Netflix, to show my students next week. It's state testing so, when they are done with testing but it's not time to head to class yet, I plan on showing movies. We can't play many games, unless they're quiet ones, because of it being a quiet campus.

My mood still feels alright. What was weird is I had some mild SI pop into my head on my walk despite feeling fine mood wise. Sometimes, this happens. It typically isn't much to worry about as long as I can identify what is triggering it (usually an anxiety) and reframe it.

I’m up after a handful of hours of sleep again. This has been all week. At least my cat is on the bed with me. I love her. She’s such a good kitty. I’m a prophet. I see things! I don’t know why God picked me but I see angels. They are scary they are so big and genderless. Out of all the people that were there why was I the only one to see them? Did they present themselves only to me because I’m a prophet?

Good morning. I’m going to the soups for strays fundraiser today and picking up the soups I bought. They’re homemade. I bought two 32 oz containers of creamy buffalo chicken and two 32oz containers of New England clam chowder.

Anyway I feel pretty good today. Wearing a cute spring top.

Did a drawing last night from my manga drawing tutorial book

A gift I bought for my friends birthday arrives today. Excited to give her it tomorrow.

Gotta clean/change the litterbox when I get home from the fundraiser.

My sister is giving me a keyboard this weekend (piano). It’s a much better quality one than my current one and has weighted keys so I’m excited about that. Aside from that just gonna try to read a lot today, do some household chores, and draw some more.

I'm doing ok today. I have a ton of laundry to do. My energy level is decent. I'm not being a burden on my mom. I've read when you have legit health issues you hate asking for help because you don't want to seem weak or needy. But anyways my fatigue is good today so I can do things myself.

I don't have any plans besides the laundry but I am kinda bored.

I love your drawing @Blue_Bird!

Just checking in; it's been a busy day. My daughter has her prom tonight, and because she is in an online school, the physical school is quite a drive away, 4 hr. maybe? So she & H headed out there; I'm really not one for travel, and they are staying overnight. I'd rather just stay home and take care of the cats; sometimes I think that makes me a bad mom that for her school trips, my daughter goes with H and I stay home. But I know if I went, I'd be restless, complaining, fidgety, not sleeping well in an unfamiliar bed. My daughter's dress is absolutely gorgeous, and it should be, it was expensive enough! It was actually one of the cheaper dresses, it seems the sky is the limit in those places. Tough too because her prom is on the early side; department stores around here are not carrying prom dresses yet, but there are plenty of boutiques around that do sell for proms and mostly quincineras, and the sales help at those places is fantastic. Thank goodness my daughter found a beautiful dress. She looks so grown-up in it too So bittersweet when your child grows up.

Managed pilates this morning and reading with the SAD lamp but then had to go to Walmart to get travel sized shampoo and toiletries for my daughter & H. Pretty worn out after helping them get everything together to go. I also had to pick up a prescription; had to drive H's car since H & my daughter went on their trip in my car. I'm not used to driving H's car, but at least the pharmacy is not that far to drive to.

I may just spend the afternoon reading and skip drawing today, I'm pretty worn out. I always draw better in the morning; I am definitely a morning person.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Last time I believed I was a prophet I was completely manic and psychotic. I hope you see your pdoc soon.

Stay safe.

Oh Ive been both of those! And I’m not going to take the increased 3mg Vraylar either. The side effects are intolerable! My Pdoc won’t see me for 3 weeks! And I will NOT go to the psych ER! Last year I was there for two days without a place to sleep or food to eat!

Blueberry, I’m a definite afternoon, early evening person, I draw better then.

Despite going to bed early I couldn’t sleep. So around 2 am I took an extra ambien and seroquel. With in a half hour I was asleep. Work to a dark dreary day. Such a change from yesterday. Had the window slightly opened for a while but just too cold.

Just maintaining. Really glad I slept last night. Two sleepless nights in a row does not portend anything good.