Bipolar Check-in #98

Here’s my son’s new fish tank from Santa all set up. Will put the fish inside next week Friday.

@Nammu I hope you feel better. Will PM you about CtM!


@Blueberrybook I understand about it being hard to go out. I find it hard to go to my sister's house and there's just 6 of us, all related and it just gets chaotic and exhausting. I love them, it's just hard. I have to say that I was gladto have some PRN Seroquel to take today. It's good your friends are understanding.

I fking hope the med changes are put in place today. I hate how if I have a med change on Monday I have to wait until Saturday or whenever the pharmacy repackages my weekly planner to get some fking extra PRN or the nightmare med or my increase in mood stabilizer or to officially be taken off whatever medication I'm allergic to.

Once they had already packaged 2 weeks and I went to my pdoc appointment she's like "so how's [new med] working?" and I'm like... "haven't started it!!!"

I had a major headache last night and when I tried to put on the CPAP, it was so awful. And waking up, the headache is still here! I feel really foggy and hung over and my head is just pounding1 OMG, what is this? I was hoping to enjoy today. I am checking on all my friends in NYC too - there is a major snowstorm headed there.

I'm feeling pretty good today. I slept 9 hr. and took a walk/jog for a total of 4 mi. Hopefully I won't be sore tomorrow! Did my usual boring morning routine, read with the SAD lamp because I don't want that depression with nearly constant si intrusive thoughts to EVER set in again. I painted a picture of a sunflower today.

I hope everyone starts feeling better today. I'm glad Christmas is over, but I still have a family Christmas at my parents' house on Saturday that I'm not looking forward to. It's so many people, so crowded and NOBODY but H and my daughter understand even a fraction of what bipolar is like. People expect me to be the same person I was back when I was in high school, and I'm NOT.

Christmas is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s cold out, 16 degrees. I took a walk to the store and bought a blanket, some bath mats, sheets and a mattress cover. We’re supposed to get a big snow storm tonight.

I’m staying inside the rest of the day. I already walked a mile outside on my trip to the store. Feels good to be home cozy and warm and my new blanket is super soft

Hope you’re all well

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@Blue_Bird - Here's it's in the 70s and humid. The high today is 79F! But the weather forecast has it cooling off quite a bit in a day or 2.

I’m up for a bit then back in bed. Can’t stay awake. Cough is deep but doesn’t hurt anymore.

Make sure your tank is cycled or your fish will die of ammonia- their waste- poisoning! There are bottles you can buy- the yellow one works best- of good bacteria to instantly cycle your tank. Sorry I can’t be of more help as it’s been 20 years since I had fish tanks.

I had a productive day, i'm just so glad Christmas is over. I took out ALL the trash, did two other chores, finally did a load of laundry, and took a shower. It's nice to be clean. It was extremely cold today at a "feels-like" high of -25C (-13F) and i didn't dare venture out.

I got paid early because of Christmas and i made the final payment to top up my emergency fund, which i blew when i was manic. Now i can start saving to buy a comfortable sofa. I've been without a sofa for months and my home is just not the same without one.

Thanks. We’ve got special solution we had to put in the tank. The pet store said to wait a week before putting a fish inside otherwise it will die. Will get the pet store to check the water next week to see if it’s at the right level before we put the actual fish inside. Fingers crossed. 🤞

Overwhelmed with nothing to say

Feel either numb or irritable and tired from meds. When I go out everything irritates me. I can't put up with other drivers or all that music in grocery stores and waiting in lines.

@BeyondtheRainbow I have not heard of that med or looked into MAOIs so they are things to think about-thanks!

Today was a low key day. The main thing I did today is watch Harry Potter. My plan is to watch all of the movies while I am on break.

I hope everyone gets a good nights sleep.

I talked to my daughter tonight. I never knew the flu could just be respiratory. So I agreed to go to Walmart and get a flu A,B covid test. If that’s what I have then she is canceling my granddaughters sleepover as I was at her house Christmas Eve and you are most contagious before you have symptoms. I need more tissue too. Puffs! My nose is so sore as are my ribs from coughing but I’m not so tired anymore.

Hi everyone,

I’m glad the holiday’s over. In retrospect, it was really stressful and exhausting.

As the years go on, I like Christmas less and less.

Today, there was more family dysfunction. I was feeling hopeless and helpless. I’ve been in a depressed mood. It seems like the insanity won’t stop - No way to get off the roller coaster. I’m tired of pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.

BiL is still on our couch after 6 months. He still won’t take any responsibility for his own actions. Refuses to work. W is rageful towards him. There’s so much anger in this f___king house. It’s toxic.



W and I barely stay afloat as it is - financially and emotionally. We’re both Bipolar and on a fixed income and we can’t handle the additional stress of her brother living with us. To use the slang, we’re both cracking up.

If we suggest he leaves, If he stays, then he continues to refuse to do anything. We’re being held emotionally hostage in our own home. I’m sick of it.

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Thinking of everyone who is having a tough time right now.

Went to the mall to exchange a handbag my partners mom gave me for Christmas. It just honestly wasn’t my style. All big and bulky. I prefer smaller handbags. It’s a personal preference. I feel bad that I had to do that because honestly I just would not have used the original handbag she got for me because it just wasn’t my style at all.

Here’s my new Minco handbag:

Good morning. I was gonna walk to the store to get some double aa batteries for my Xbox controller and cat litter but I’d rather not walk a mile in all that snow and the cold and carrying heavy cat litter. So I’m gonna stay home instead. I will probably just take the bus to Walmart tomorrow to get it.

I slept good, spent the morning organizing my apartment and listening to my audiobook.

Today will just have to be a stay at home and be cozy day.

Plans for today are to read, and play videogames, maybe paint if I feel up to it.

I need a shower too at some point today. Did laundry last night.

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I’m on so many levels not ok. and now soon i have to go down stairs to get meds like all is hunky dory so I don’t go to the retraumatization building.

I don’t even want to get out of bed ffs

Good morning,
I’m sorry for my rant last night. It was kind of a bummer. I took melatonin and slept 8 hours straight and feel a lot better this morning. I hope everyone has a good day.

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I'm so sorry so many are having a tough time right now. The holidays can be so hard on top of the short days.

This morning my cat Midnight made herself so hard to find. I called and called, drove up a couple of streets, nothing. Then like 3 hours later she's suddenly walking around in the house. We think she was asleep under one of the beds (probably my daughter's). Whew! That's a relief. It had my daughter in a near panic.

I did pilates this morning, took it easy on my body and used the SAD lamp.

Soon, we are going to my parents' house for a family Christmas. I'll be glad when it's over. It's going to be too many people in too small a house - my parents, 3 sets of aunts & uncles, me, my daughter & H, 2 nephews, 3 nieces, and my grandmother. It's just a lot for me to deal with. Too much overstimulation, way too much!

I hope everyone starts doing better.

So we got 11 inches of snow! Glad I didn’t end up going out today. Would have been a pain trying to walk in it

I fell back asleep for a couple hours. Definitely needed it as I woke up at 4 am. Fell asleep around 7:30am to 9:45am

Hugs to those struggling.

I wish I could hide the politics thread on Tapatalk here, it’s always showing up in my feed and stressing me out. Wish I could just remove it

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