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#1
Yesterday, 09:09 PM
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So my therapist left the practice over a month ago. He expressed I was high needs for a new therapist ASAP. At the time I was suicidal. They called and gave me a tentative appointment after Christmas. Later they called and gave my Dec 11th. Still a month away meanwhile self care is at an all time low and self hatred is at a all time high. So I went ahead and looked old T up. He was willing to take my back as a client. So I filled out all the paperwork and waited. Now my insurance wants a referral from my PCP, which I've never met, to see my therapist. I'm so frustrated. I'm hoping this works out. I guess I'm not seeing him until after next week. I'm white knuckling it and my Psychiatrist can only do so much, She's already seeing me once every three weeks. I'm trying my best to keep my emoods documentation clear. I'm not psychotic right now but I am looking at going back to school which is a sign of not good things to come for me. Either I'm bummed I'm not productive or I'm going to become hyper fixated, maybe both. I keep reminding myself my lack of motivation, my inability to work, my desire not to take medication is not attached to my self worth.
By the way I also want to go off medication because my lack of motivation I swear is do to the medication. I really need to talk to someone I trust before I say **** it and just go off medication. I don't think I've taken a shower.... maybe even changed in over a month.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
 BeyondtheRainbow
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#2
Today, 09:56 AM
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My PCP won't do it until I see him and that's not til the 3rd.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#3
Today, 11:07 AM
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So my therapist is going to do some sessions while we wait for the PCP. I hope the PCP will put it through though in the end it's up to a new guy that I've never seen. This is so stressful. Why can't I just see someone that takes my insurance without a referral.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#4
Today, 04:30 PM
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I feel like a ***** being numb and detached,
Possible trigger:
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| MuddyBoots
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#5
Today, 05:07 PM
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Victoria's mom, you're going to be OK. I can see your frustration and sadness, but your posts are organized and make sense. I think your medication is helping but probably needs an adjustment to help with your motivation. It's hard to climb out when we get into a hole, but just take one step at a time. You're doing your best to take charge of your appointments and life in general and sometimes we just have to be patient while we wait. Choose what bothers you the most and make yourself deal with it regardless of whether you want to or not (self-care for example). As for myself, there are some tasks that I don't want to do, but I don't give myself a choice and just do them.(this did not happen overnight) Once it's done, the load gets a little lighter. When things get tough I repeat to myself an old saying: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
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#6
Today, 05:29 PM
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 hugs:I try to make it clear with my docs that if I think something is wrong with my meds, but they say «not right now » I will be getting myself off of them completely myself or, if I actually think I need it but a lower dose but it’s not just as simple as splitting a pill, will go to the hospital and say « higher dose of x med is making me suicidal but Dr so and so wouldn’t lower the dose when I said that so it was come here or die » My last doc caught on that I followed through and inpatient if it was completely on my terms they did what I needed to happen and I came out better. So there’s that. I think sometimes some people do have a tendency to want to stop meds because that’s the bipolar way or some shyt, but there are a lot of times a lot of us genuinely feel when something is wrong and we don’t want to take something that makes us feel worse. It sucks that sometimes we’re actually making poor decisions but I think we’re all pretty intuitive when it comes to our bodies and what goes in it when we’re not actively fighting that.
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https://worldwidewanderer7.wordpress.com/ |
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#7
Today, 05:59 PM
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So it could be the medication. this is a new pdoc to me. Maybe 4x. I don't trust her yet. I'm going to show her my emoods and hope she does something.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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