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#1
Aug 24, 2026, 12:21 AM
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Dealing with anger and shame today (tonight). I've been seeing a therapist through the summer and it's helped, especially an idea he gave me which is to try to be curious about alternative interpretations of things in the moment when I feel threatened. I was doing better and even started standing up straight, occasionally looking at people. When I told him, he said he was impressed. And then it's been downhill to middling since. Each day is another try, and today I sort of slipped. Got angry and yelled audibly at home. The guilt is overwhelming. Having an anonymous outlet like this is helpful, not to confess but to share.
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 Buffy01, unaluna
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#2
Aug 24, 2026, 11:54 PM
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One step forward, two steps back. The path to success isn't a straight line. It will take time. You are doing well and can recover from this setback. If you yelled and now feel guilty, would an apology help you?
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Zyprexa 3.75 mg Naltrexone 25 mg Zepbound 10 mg Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - Hypothyroidism for life - Obesity, but we are working on making it less so |
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#3
Aug 25, 2026, 12:22 PM
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Thank you @Tart Cherry Jam
You are right, one step forward and two steps back I don't think an apology is warranted because I didn't yell at anyone, it was a private moment in my room when I didn't realize I was audible to others. No one mentioned anything, but I am sure I was heard |
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#4
Aug 25, 2026, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Zyprexa 3.75 mg Naltrexone 25 mg Zepbound 10 mg Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - Hypothyroidism for life - Obesity, but we are working on making it less so |
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#5
Yesterday, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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