Scared because I'm on the slippery slope.

Hi. I'm alone and don't know where else to go, so I'm here. My problem is recurrent episodes of depression. I've been doing pretty darn good for a few months now. That's quite a breakthrough for me. This has been an unusually long stretch of feeling decent. I've been pushing myself to do more and get out and about more. A few times, I've felt myself backsliding, but I grabbed myself by the ear and dragged myself up before going down the slippery slope. I was even starting to think that maybe I'ld matured to the point that I was done having emotional downturns. I was starting to feel kind of safe, but -- right now - I'm losing it.

I'm in a tailspin and feel pretty bad. A few unexpected stressors came up and it doesn't take much to rock my boat. I got feeling low yesterday. Already, the house is becoming a mess. I'm not cooking for myself. The kitchen is dirty. Nothing put away. I look a mess. I don't want to slide further down. It's awful to slide down that slope and can be so hard to climb back up. So I could use any encouraging word.

A lot of this is coming from spending too much time alone. That's why I'm here. Just to put down what I'm going through at the moment. I know from long experience that the best thing is to go wash the piled up dirty dishes before things get worse. A messy house gets me more depressed than anything. Just getting the place picked up would go a long ways toward improving how bad I feel.

I just had a long sobbing spell. I will go do something sensible right now. The sooner I start doing stuff, the sooner this miserable sadness will go away.