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#1
Aug 22, 2026, 11:38 AM
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Just a quick note to anyone on this forum who is considering a divorce, going through one, or just trying to get over one.
There is recovery from the loss and pain of a broken marriage, even for those that lasted over 20 years. After a massive heartbreak like divorce, it is easy to view the world through dark glasses, thinking everything looks bleak. It is entirely natural to be in that headspace for a while. Accept it for what it is. Your mind and body need time to process this painful loss. Let that happen, and I promise you, it will end. In my case, it has been many years—I have actually lost track of how many—since my initial separation and final divorce. I spent much of that separation period here on this forum. Those who remember me might recall some of the incredibly painful things I went through back then. I went through a period of intense anger. Then, I went through a phase of disconnecting and becoming somewhat selfish, focusing only on my own needs. Eventually, that evolved into a life-building phase; I still put myself first, but in a healthy way. I was alone then, and I remain single to this day. Once the anger and selfishness passed, something wonderful happened: I became content. I found peace with my life, my hard work, where I had been, and where I was going. For the longest time, I had no desire to start a new relationship. Even though I had moved past the anger and pain, I never forgot what happened. During that time, I viewed a relationship as a complication rather than a benefit. That brings me to today. I will share the full story another time, but someone recently sparked something inside me. Feeling a genuine interest in her made me realize that I am finally ready for a relationship again. But this time, there is a difference: I don’t need it. I am already whole. I do not need someone in my life, but I am open to it. I want a relationship, but it will not break me if it doesn't happen. A breakup, divorce, or whatever trial you are facing right now is just a phase. Like everything else in life, you can come back from it. You will heal, and you will come out of this stronger and better than before—if you let yourself. |
 Ruftin, unaluna
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 mortality, Ruftin, unaluna
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#2
Aug 23, 2026, 09:38 PM
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Thank you @s4ndm4n20067 for sharing your journey. I've never been married or divorced but seeing here how you survived each stage of grieving and how you processed your divorce and found your true self will surly bring understanding and hope to anyone who has been through a divorce.
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Last edited by Ruftin; Aug 23, 2026 at 10:45 PM. |
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#3
Yesterday, 12:27 PM
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My Hope is that it is an encouragement to anyone that might be going through a similar situation because far too many people today do have to go through it. i remember being in the midst of it and all the things I felt at every phase of it. Hindsight is 20/20 and I can see a lot of things I went through more clearly now.
One thing that might surprise some here, is that looking back on all the milestones and different parts of my life over time, i wouldn't trade a single one at all. The learning experience from even the worst of times, in the end is all worth it for what you come away with. It's the strength, determination and ability to endure in the midst of it that's the hardest. I post just to help people stop, take a breath and see things from the perspective of someone that's been there and understands and maybe gain some courage and strength from it. |
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#4
Today, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
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