Overcoming Life Challenges

I am starting a new thread since my old one doesn't fit what has actually been happening in my life.

It's been one challenge after another. For 10-15 years, I faced one crisis after another. I have had to climb out of many pits of despair and periods of absolute ruination to rebuild and start again - repeatedly.

I am tired. In fact, my spirit and soul are EXHAUSTED. I am done dealing with so many life challenges. I have been isolating because of my exhaustion.

The latest and greatest is I am being bullied horrifically by my current boss, whom I suspect is a narcissist. Her bullying has been both obvious and subtle, and is very insidious and damaging to me. It has gone on for 2 years now. I have had to submit 2 reports/complaints to Human Resources. After my first complaint, I saw some improvement in my boss, but just 2 months later, she is now trying to block my career progression within the company as well as an initiative that I have headed up.

From 2018-2023, I was laid off 3 different times, which caused so much stress, angst, and anxiety. I dealt with unemployment for 7 months before I landed my current job. I have not wanted to leave my job because I have enjoyed the stability of being employed.

I have been bullied by former bosses, so this is nothing new, but again, I am tired of the repetition.

I have also dealt with severe abuse and bullying in romantic relationships, including in my more recent marriage that ended in divorce.

In 2023, I divorced a malignant narcissist and just learned that he is now remarried, only 2.5 years after his divorce from me. This is his THIRD marriage. It doesn't impact me only in the sense that it feels unjust.

I have dealt with more crap than most people I run across and I think far more than the average person. I am starting to break, therefore, I am isolating to find my strength again.

I have only a few close friends. And that is generally OK with me because in my perspective, most people I run across suck or are toxic to me. So I avoid most people and stick to myself.

I know there's much more to life than what I am living right now. I look forward to coming out of this phase and hope my life soon blossoms into something far more beautiful - I want to create the kind of life I am happy with. Right now, that is not my reality.

I have traveled though on my own a lot since my divorce. The upside of my divorce is I became far more empowered, self-reliant, and self-sufficient. I have done many things by myself, and that is so very empowering to me.

I have found that there is a certain dignity to being single. It means I can stand on my own two feet and not be dependent on others for my happiness, security, or sense of self worth. I do hope to meet the right partner one day, but I could also be happy being single if I don't meet a special person. One thing is for sure - I am never settling again. I settled with my ex husband, and went through sheer torture and hell being abused by him for 4 years. I am done with abuse.

Where I am going with this post? I do not know.

I am ready for a brand new beginning. I am ready for a different and far better job with a better boss. I am ready to embrace what's ahead of me with the confidence that I can handle any challenges. Because I've gone through so much, it's made me that much stronger. And maybe that was the point.

I have risen and will rise yet again. But this go around, I want my life to be far easier. That is the life I am working on manifesting. Maybe one day I will look back on all the strife and challenges and will see that they served a purpose. Hopefully, they will.