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#1
Dec 07, 2025, 07:38 PM
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Not sure what this is. But I have a bad reaction to people in stores and such wanting to be IMHO, overly, friendly. I can't figure out why... necessarily. Does anyone else have this?
1. I go to McDonalds every day for breakfast. I typically get an unusual order without bread. I like that the staff know my order enough to give me the correct drink when I order. But I want space. Over thanksgiving I went the Friday after thanksgiving and one of the workers (who I have felt for a while was trying to talk to me) asked me if I was working that day and I said yes and he goes... well we are too. And I am like. (in my head).. no shat. It just kind of sets off alarm bells in my head... when sort of strangers try to advance the relationship. 2. Conductor on my train. I have a pass that suggests I am going to get off at a stop that sometimes my train doesn't go to. But most of the time I get off way before that. I just buy the pass because if the weather is bad, I can use that station closer to my house. So the conductor will ask if I know the train I am taking doesn't go to the last stop and I always say yes, I am getting off before that. So my employer won't pay for that pass anymore and now I have to buy a different ticket and this conductor -- noticed. Noticed that I usually get a different ticket and what ticket it was, and wanted to know why I wasn't getting that anymore. Ok now logically I know he is probably just an extrovert... but it makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Stop taking notice of me. Everyone stop taking notice of me. And yes, now I have stopped going to that McDonalds and also I will be taking a different train for a while. This happens all the time. I shop someplace and people get to know me. And, I tend to be polite, and then they push forward... trying to "move" the relationship... and this just triggers me. I just want to buy my product or service I don't want to have a relationship. And, in my experience, if someone pushes this line, they won't go back to normal... they will just keep pushing. I don't think this is about them being service workers or anything. I would be happy to know them in a different circumstance, but, I mean, what is the point of this "single serving friendship" -- there isn't any. So why are we talking? I am an introvert so I don't like speaking at all... but... Anyone else hae this issue? |
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#2
Dec 07, 2025, 08:41 PM
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I do customer service. Do you know I have someone listening to my calls to make sure I use the caller’s name and they count the seconds until I do? That I’m required to ask a question that appears to show interest in the caller? That I’m required to offer a “warm sentiment” before I end the call?
So these “service workers” are being listened to and watched to ensure they are providing “genuine interest” in you, their customer. They don’t WANT to, they HAVE TO. I don’t give a crap whether you have a good day or not. I also don’t want to wish you a great day, but there is someone peering over my shoulder making sure I do. The person at McDonald’s is wearing a headset and is being coached to ask you about yourself. Look up, see a camera? Yeah. So no, you are not extra noticeable. The people who are serving you are required to do these things. TBH, we aren’t trying to know you better. The fad is genuine engagement, and companies are once again turning what used to be real into something fake. We’re just checking boxes. Last edited by Molinit; Dec 07, 2025 at 10:00 PM. |
 Discombobulated, divine1966, unaluna
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 Blue_Bird, divine1966, forestx5, MuddyBoots, Tart Cherry Jam
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#3
Dec 07, 2025, 10:17 PM
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Molinit is right. These people aren’t pushing a relationship on you or trying to start friendship. What they do is part of the job, it’s a requirement to act certain way. To answer your question “why are we talking?”: that’s in their job description
Having said that, some customer service people chat more than others. Same as not service workers. Just people in general. Sometimes it helps to get a day go by. Not a big deal. It’s also cultural. Are you originally from the US? I got used to small talk and casual chat with strangers now. I now partake in it myself, I talk to strangers all the time lol But when I first immigrated to the US, I was like “what’s up with these people”. I came from the land where people keep to themselves and there’s zero small talk. |
| unaluna
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| davOD, Discombobulated, unaluna
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#4
Dec 08, 2025, 02:43 PM
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Yeah I think Divine is onto something with the cultural expectations/norms. The area of England I come from it’s normal to chat to strangers, it makes the day go by is a good way to describe it. However if I travel to other parts of the country it stops, and I forget and chat to strangers and get looked at like I have two heads lol. It’s what we’re used to/how we were raised a lot of the time.
PS I work in service too but the company I work for is pretty slack about customer service tbh, the friendliness of me is just me being me, no harm meant. |
| divine1966
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#5
Dec 10, 2025, 10:29 PM
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I get annoyed with customer service people. They are all foreign and can barely speak English. And they spend the whole time thanking you for using them. I called power company last week and she had to repeat everything she did for me and read me laws, etc. I can barely handle my irritability. The power company and post office screwed up my new address.
A woman that worked at McDonald's would say "Have a bless-ed day" every day, she must have said that 1000 times a day.
__________________
When people don't know what you're about they turn you down and shut you out - Sweet Leaf, Black Sabbath |
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#6
Dec 11, 2025, 01:23 PM
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Again, the power company person is doing what the people who pay her requires.
I am required to repeat and spell back every person’s name, even if it is “John Doe”. The quality assurance people listen to every single call and grade them. Pass/fail. |
| divine1966
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| Blue_Bird, divine1966
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#7
Dec 11, 2025, 06:45 PM
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They are required to repeat the laws. And they are required to thank you. It’s not optional. They simply do their job
I wonder what people do for a living that they have such harsh judgement about customer service employees. |
| Blue_Bird, Molinit
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#8
Dec 11, 2025, 08:27 PM
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I ordered my "medium hot black coffee" again today. The girl taking my order asked "do you want cream and sugar?" And I replied "only if it makes the coffee blacker."
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#9
Dec 12, 2025, 11:14 AM
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Let me give another nonsense example. Earlier this year, I failed a call because I said Happy Easter to someone, even though the caller mentioned they had just come from church for Easter.
“Not everyone celebrates” is the reason I failed. Never mind the fact that the person themselves mentioned they do, in fact, celebrate. Go figure. |
| Discombobulated, Tart Cherry Jam, unaluna
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| divine1966
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#10
Dec 12, 2025, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
She likely said “cream and sugar” and not just sugar out of habit. They have to repeat it a lot. And it’s entirely possible expectation is to ask for both in case customer changed their mind in the process. You respond is snarky. You could just say. “No cream and no sugar”. Customer service employees take a lot of abuse. So cut them some slack. |
| Blue_Bird, Tart Cherry Jam
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#11
Yesterday, 10:34 PM
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Customer service people drive me crazy. They're all foreigners and don't understand English and they're dumb. I called Kohl's and wanted a refund and was told I wasn't allowed and this guy didn't understand me.
__________________
When people don't know what you're about they turn you down and shut you out - Sweet Leaf, Black Sabbath |
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