Do you have a short fuse?

Yeah. Really been called more of a live wire though since I’m not doing nothing when I’m not set off (that was a lot of a negatives for a sentence).

It’s a short but fun run at Cannon. Get enough speed you can launch off that mofo.

Online I can kinda get weird. But in real life I am super calm and nice. I thank everyone from baggers to doctors. I’ve never argued with my therapist. I got mad at my pdoc a couple times and I got mad at my endocrinologist once. I didn’t know people acted disrespectful in hospitals towards nurses until I saw this guy on Tik Tok. When I was in there for surgery I was very easy to deal with.

I was a complete ***** though until I had my hysterectomy in 2021.

I do not, no.

Some people probably think I do but that is only when I let their crap slide for too long without saying something....they fill my bucket to overflowing & then I explode where in reality they have been pushing their luck with me for way too long

When I'm manic, definitely. It does happen when I'm not manic too, but those times I usually fume inside myself instead of vocalizing.

I have been in defense of passive aggressive personalities my whole life. From having been in a long term relationship with a racist anarchist, by my having a peer rivalry with underground criminals who dealt with narcotics, and also being in defense of fellows in recovery who felt that their considering themselves powers of example assaulted, and actually made members of the meetings paraplegic. Passive Aggression can remove the need to build self esteem. It becomes a Quixote like self appointed war one decides to take up for themselves based on their own thinking. It does mean the instincts enacts physical assault, and a need to victimize to develop pride. Passive aggressive personalities mis interpret boundaries of dependency, and tend to be punishing of human thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and will destroy efforts of settling boundaries between you, and them. It can feel that your life is going to be lived in defense of their victimization of you. Stating an understanding of psychological motives won't help. The behavior can turn very negative, and threatening when the passive aggressive person convinces others that you are someone who they will always have to take up with through punishment, and by their being punishing towards you.

I didn't have many problems when I was younger but I've gotten more severe.
Watched The Last Hours of Jerry Lewis and they said his fuse was short and he was in constant pain. His children said they didn't know how he was going to be at dinner when he came home from work.

Not usually

Sorry you're experiencing this. I too have a "short fuse" and find that it comes up a lot when dealing with family, also with my father. I've always had a lot of shame around this, and my father, who had to deal with a wife who had serious rage issues, responds to people's anger with a sort of humourous distance, by using irony and laughter to defuse the threat of hostility. The cycle continues. But I think he probably had some similar relationship with his mom as I had with mine. So, as unfair as it feels in the moment, I try to be the one to step back and get away from the situation when I feel like shouting.

Depends on how much Ive slept lol

No just the opposite. I have a never ending fuse, but, when you trigger it... it is like a light switch turns on.

I can go and go and go but once you trigger me... it is like I am done with you forever.

Have you looked into stoicism / Buddhism? Those concepts help me be more calm.

Are you me? This, exactly.

At first I was like nah, because denial, but I do. It’s one of the symptoms of my Graves’ disease: “Graves’ rage”.

I have a short fuse, naturally, but I've learned not to show it / act on it. I had a career for many years in business and I just couldn't be snapping at people in the workplace. So while my temper still kicks in pretty quickly, I've learned to just recognize it, take some deep breaths and respond calmly most of the time. Sometimes I do still lose it and snap, usually at one of my housemates, but even that's rare.

I used to have a hair trigger. And when I blew I blew BIGLY! Then one day a friend told me I was scary when I got mad. He was right. I could throw a 60 pound hay bale the length of the barn when I was mad. His comment made me stop and think. Decided to change. What really helped was my therapist telling me that passive people hold everything in until they explode.

I'm no longer in an abusive relationship. I learned to set and enforce boundaries. I learned to stop and ask myself if a situation merited the energy to be angry. My fuse is now miles long. Yes, I still get angry. The political situation in this country tests me regularly, but no more blow ups.

I don't think so but good to know I have a twin.

I blew up at the hospital scheduling lady on the phone yesterday while trying to schedule my Medicare Annual Wellness visit. I realize now that the problem was, they dont want to schedule you for two visits in the same day. Well, i could give an eff about my medicare visit, i see my dr 4 effing times a year. I told her, i only had one trip last year. Shes like no you didnt, when? Two years ago, they DID schedule me for two visits, because not my GP did it, then i saw my GP. Anyway, i was like, "How old are you?! Why are you arguing with me?!" She was ticking me off. Gee i havent yet received a survey asking me how i liked the service yesterday! Honestly, i NEVER yell, but i did yesterday. She was being cagey and acting smart, i hate that!

ETA - The how old are you question was because i wanted some respect for my advancéd age!

I have a pretty long fuse. My dad had a short one and that trained me to the opposite. But you don’t want to make me mad. But I do get irritable from moods related to bipolar. I’m pretty good at isolating myself and not responding to pricks. I learned to swear like a sailor from my dad tho, and it does help with pain. There’s actually research showing that swearing when you’re in pain it helps.

The Australian tennis player of Greek and Malaysian descent, Nick Kyrgios, was known for using profanities on the court and he apparently believed they helped him play. A similar concept.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam The Australian tennis player of Greek and Malaysian descent, Nick Kyrgios, was known for using profanities on the court and he apparently believed they helped him play. A similar concept.

I thought cussing on the court in tennis was a big no no. I know nothing about tennis, but sort of remember hearing about players being fined for cursing.

I do think he eventually got in trouble for it. I also know nothing but remember hearing about it.

If I get snappy there’s normally an underlying reason, like I’m overworked or overwhelmed, it’s not something that happens a lot but I really dislike it when I do. I always apologise properly if I do snap.

I believe snapping is normally a sign of things not being in balance for me. My dad had a terrible temper and we were told that was just how he was, like a fixed trait, we tiptoed around him at times growing up. I now realise that he just had never learned to manage his emotions, and actually people tiptoeing around him didn’t help him realise this and change his behaviour.

Yeah my mom used to claim that "the news" had said it was "better" to let your anger out rather than let it build up, but basically she just was always mad. And then she'd be like, "dont you think i have a right to be mad?" That was before the concept of "choosing" how to react became a thing. Boy, we coulda used that!

Yes it’s easy to forget the concept of emotional intelligence is a relatively new thing.

My dad’s dad had a worse temper apparently, and his father before him had an even worse one - he had survived a mustard gas attack in the trenches during WW1 and I’m sure he had PTSD which was not at all understood then. I think this behaviour got handed down the male line, albeit diluted with each generation.