Psychiatrist basically trolling me. Again

I never wanted to enter the psychiatric world, cause I never suffered serious stuff
Yet it happened

Getting involved in psicology and psychiatric was my downfall
I wish to everyone to go to work instead, cause it seems a better option for the day

Going to psychiatrics turns quickly into a self-fullfilling prophecy

Cause I was healthy some years ago and now I am a worm labelled with tags. Not directly blaming anyone, it was my fault but still i wish i maintened full control over my life

I am not an anti-vax or alt-right person

Just find it crazy that i cant even try to explain to a doctor my life and the fact that i am trying to stop taking meds without him minimizing my reasons
He is getting pay to not even listen to a word

I am half sorry I wrote this post
But it feels just like that

Sometimes i feel used by psychologist too
Some just take the money and that's it

I do my best to behave good

It's awful, and unprofessional when they minimize

I also can relate to ''I do my best to behave good''...

''They are getting paid to not even listen to a word''... I have also experienced this, more than a few times ...

It is important to go to a good psychiatrist or psychologist, and it is sometimes hard to know whether you found the right one. Because of my sister’s abuse, I had a very difficult teenage years and early twenties. I started to see therapists in my late twenties, and my finest experience a psychiatrist was at a university hospital. A resident and a couple of med students were assigned to me . When I spoke about my home, and the conversation got to my sister, and how she was beating me (which was very difficult), the resident and medical students thought it was very funny and started laughing. Then, the resident asked me why I didn’t fight back? It was very triggering for me and it took me months to go back to a therapist , but not that place.

I recently visited a psychiatrist just last week and he flat out told me to shut up, that he knew how I felt better than I did, and even though I told him that the bupropion that HE gave me in December had a strong stimulant effect resembling that of an amphetamine, he told me that I was making it up and it couldn't do that, but if I wanted to get more meds, he would give them to me, so he added mirtazapine, and now I'm basically speed-balling. An upper and a downer at the same time.

This was provided by a state ran facility here in the Texas panhandle. I don't have to pay to visit this place because I'm incredibly poor and unlucky when it comes to financial security, as I almost can't pay my necessary bills each month regardless of busting my butt over 50 hours a week. The last thing I need is some guy who makes 6 figures a year telling me I don't know how I feel, but its the only way I can even attempt getting treatment.

I regret claiming external supports were somehow involved in my fall. Of course they are innocents
It is only my fault
I failed to save myself in the year 2016 Last train

I'm not a big fan of psychologists and psychiatrists for these very reasons and then some. I know how you feel.

I was seriously ill since the age of 17. I had an EEG at age 17 following a neuro-psych trauma which I didn't understand. It rendered me very ill. Since I was a minor, my mother met with the neurologist and I got things 2nd hand. My mother told me the results were "normal, with one lead off". That was a lie. She couldn't explain. About every 8 years, I would descend into a deep depression and would seek an intervention. Public mental health, phd psychologists, psychiatrists and even another neurologist who said my blinding migraine auras were not harmful and he had "bigger fish to fry." At age 56 I had my own EEG and it showed I had significant pathology in my temporal lobe consistent with a history of epileptic seizure. In spite of having recently taken an early retirement from a decent job, I was told I was disabled and given SSDI until I was 65. I had found a case history in a neuro research journal which identified the etiology of my illness, but none of those mental health professional recognized the fact I was epileptic. And it is more complicated because I guess I could be diagnosed with a neuro-psychiatric illness where my childhood abuse rendered me vulnerable to seizures. I don't see a psychiatrist anymore. When I told my last one I thought I had discovered the origins of my illness and I wanted an EEG, he said "Go ahead and get one, I don't care." I did, and that was the last time I saw him. In my opinion, mental health care is the biggest fraud in this country. ECT works, but they don't know why. Therapists are like a bunch of starving artists looking for a paycheck. About all a good one can give you is empathy, and I can't afford it. Psychiatry is the triage ward of neurology. If they don't know what's wrong with you, they send you to psychiatry where they don't care what's wrong with you. They throw darts at the medication board until they come up with a med or combo of meds that make you feel a little bit better. That's all they intend to do for you. Based on the meds that work, they may even give you a diagnosis. Then they remind the administration that they are doing valuable work for society and are worth every penny they charge because they are keeping tabs on the insane. People who are twice hospitalized are at a much higher risk of suicide, because they have come to realize the man behind the curtain doesn't have any answers. My primary care prescribes an SSRI. That, in conjunction with the understanding I acquired through my own research into my mental health and neurological symptoms is sufficient to keep me on track to exceed my life's expectancy.