A Depressing Revelation

I don't think I'm meant to be in a long-term romantic relationship. I don't seem to attract guys who are stable, reliable, and honest. It's a "me" issue, and I get that. But it's still depressing. I'm sick of being treated like an afterthought, I'm sick of being stood up and lied to about it, I'm sick of being gaslighted and being told by the guy that he's "sorry I feel that way." I'm sick of being ghosted. I'm sick of the ********. Mind you, I'm not all THAT depressed, as romance is not my main focus this year. But once in a while, in the corner of my mind, I still feel a little depressed about it. I feel like a disappointment. My sister and my two cousins are in relationships. I feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Normally, I would just say "**** it" and do whatever the hell I want. Sometimes, however, I feel a bit like an outsider-- at my workplace, with my friends, and even in my family. I just want to be with someone who gets me, who is on the same wavelength, who is upfront with me, and who can keep the promises he makes. To be fair, sometimes I wonder if I'm relationship material myself; and honestly, I'm still figuring that out, because like I said, romance is not front and center for me this year. Still... alone for the rest of my life??? Is that my fate?