So tired of a guy

Greberc83 · Jul 04, 2026, 02:54 PM

This guy who I knew since high school got in touch since 2015. He starts saying hi and we talk about our lives then I said yeah ok we can talk about sex but it was non stop, it was exhausting. He wanted to buy a wig for me and so he did, I took a photo for him. He never stops going on about

Possible trigger:

cuckolding

and

Possible trigger:

a**l

. Hes bi but it seems like hes more focused on men. He has said what he'll do to me but like doing it up the bum. He never cares about the other parts of the body or focus on me. Hard to explain. I feel like he just wants me to act out his fanasties. I shared a video of a kink I like, just an innocent cartoon and he replies back what the **** so weird. He tells me he loves me and never give up. We talk about hobbies and stuff but just goes straight to sex. I swear he went on about it the whole day. Hes telling me did it three times and showing me graphic videos of a**l. I like sex but not all the time. What happened to getting to know me? Telling me how romantic itll be to be together. I had a go at him and he blocked me, before he went, he said ok bye. Blocks me and unblock me like nothing happened. I blocked him. I don't trust myself because of past relationships. I have had enough with him. He only loves me because he knows I'll do all these things for him and I am just an easy target. He said he had a crush on me back in high school but if you liked me, surely you'd ask me out then. Even my previous toxic ex was better than this and that's saying something. He would be romantic and talk about our lives and hobbies like normal people. I just feel like only guys want one thing from me. One co worker moaned why I don't have kids yet, well if men stop messing me about, I'd be happy.

divine1966 · Jul 04, 2026, 03:40 PM

Be very careful what you share online.

Just a few weeks ago someone (a vulnerable person) shared some sexual stuff with someone online and that person started blackmailing him.

I’d stay away from this guy.

Oh I missed that you blocked him. Good. Keep him blocked

Have Hope · 03:43 PM

Well, if you give into what a man wants all the time sexually and talking about sex with him mostly, then he's going to treat you the way he treated you. You get treated the way you teach people to treat you. Raise your standards, don't always give men what they want sexually from you, hold off on sexual conversations, content, and activity for a while before deciding about whether a guy is worthy, and perhaps you will be treated better. Just some advice from someone who has "been through it" with men over and over again.

Rose76 · Jul 06, 2026, 05:03 PM

You seem to fully understand that this guy is obsessive about sex and has no real interest in you, outside from using you for his sexual fantasies. You know this is not what you're looking for in a relationship. Yet, you stayed involved with him for awhile. Maybe you figured that a poor relationship was better than no relationship. Your question seems to be that you need to find a way out of having men "messing" with you and wanting you only for "one thing."

I think you're more in control of that than you realize. It's really up to you to set the bar of your expectations higher. Once you realize a guy's interest is shallow, that's when you need to stop wasting your time with him. If shallow men keep approaching you, that might mean you give off vibes of being an easy target. Maybe you believe you should think well of others, until they prove bad intentions. That would be wrong thinking. The burden is on the guy to convince you that he is worth your time.

Decent guys don't launch into sex talk, as their only area of interest. Only creeps do that. So you need to make the decision that you will not waste your time giving attention to creepy guys. Once you put that into practice, the creeps will have much less interest in you. Your willingness to act interested in them is why they keep coming around.

Tart Cherry Jam · Yesterday, 12:22 AM

to add to the above posts, I have two questions.

You wrote "He tells me he loves me and never give up." What does he mean when he says to never give up?

You then wrote "He only loves me because he knows I'll do all these things for him and I am just an easy target.."

That part I do not understand. When you quoted him saying that he loves you, I could understand you, as you simply cited him. But when YOU wrote that he loves you, that showed very poor judgment. Surely you know that what he is doing is not love.

Just dissociate from him firmly and without regrets. Another thing is, he pushes his kinks on you, but when you shared what you called your own innocent kink, he denigrated you. He is not treating you fairly. Get away from him. He expects you to tolerate his kinks but is intolerant of yours. This is not a fair deal for you.

I hope that photo in the wig he bought for you was the only photo you shared with him. I hope you didn't send more compromising photos of yourself, exposing yourself to the possibility of harm.

Greberc83 · Yesterday, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Well, if you give into what a man wants all the time sexually and talking about sex with him mostly, then he's going to treat you the way he treated you. You get treated the way you teach people to treat you. Raise your standards, don't always give men what they want sexually from you, hold off on sexual conversations, content, and activity for a while before deciding about whether a guy is worthy, and perhaps you will be treated better. Just some advice from someone who has "been through it" with men over and over again.

Seems like you're blaming me, brutal but I respect your opinion. He's blocked and that's the end, I am done with him.

Greberc83 · Yesterday, 10:45 PM

I don't why I bother posting about my issues when all I am going to be is blamed. I thought this was a safe place, obviously not.

Tart Cherry Jam · Today, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greberc83

I don't why I bother posting about my issues when all I am going to be is blamed. I thought this was a safe place, obviously not.

I do not believe you were blamed. Different posters pointed out that you exhibited poor judgment. Apparently it DID help you, as you blocked him and decided that you were done with him, which was a good outcome. So you benefited from the thread, and you also exhibited courage in calling one piece of feedback brutal yet worthy of respect. So you handled it well and came away with a step in the right direction... what is there to regret about posting?

Have Hope · 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greberc83

Seems like you're blaming me, brutal but I respect your opinion. He's blocked and that's the end, I am done with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greberc83

I don't why I bother posting about my issues when all I am going to be is blamed. I thought this was a safe place, obviously not.

This is a safe forum.. don't worry.

To clarify, I was not blaming you or saying it's all your fault. Where I was coming from is: it takes two to tango, and I was pointing out that you fed into his desires, which fuels how he treats you.

What I am saying is to acknowledge and own your role and part in this situation and in all situations with men.

You said "if men stop messing me about, I'd be happy",. which places all the responsibility on this guy and on men, but you played a role too.

If you take a step back and look at this objectively, you may see what I mean.

Another way to look at this is I can walk around this planet playing the victim, saying I was abused by my ex husband. I could say, he abused me, and I was the innocent victim. And then I further victimize myself thinking I am completely powerless against all abuse and all abusive men.

Well, what was MY role in it?

I ignored the red flags. I allowed him to cross my boundaries early on. I allowed the relationship to move much faster than I would have preferred. I stayed with him, even after the first warning signs of disrespect and disregard.

No, i was not responsible for HIS behavior or HIS choice to abuse me, but I AM responsible for my OWN behavior and my OWN choices to accept the red flags, the boundary crossing, and the first signs of disrespect.

Do you see what I am saying here?

We must FULLY OWN our choices and behaviors and NOT blame others for our choice or decision to participate in something that is less than what we desire.

In the end, you took an important step to protect yourself and blocked him, which is what I would have done too. You took a proactive step, took control of the situation, and ended it - good for you!

Greberc83 · 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

This is a safe forum.. don't worry.

To clarify, I was not blaming you or saying it's all your fault. Where I was coming from is: it takes two to tango, and I was pointing out that you fed into his desires, which fuels how he treats you.

What I am saying is to acknowledge and own your role and part in this situation and in all situations with men.

You said "if men stop messing me about, I'd be happy",. which places all the responsibility on this guy and on men, but you played a role too.

If you take a step back and look at this objectively, you may see what I mean.

Another way to look at this is I can walk around this planet playing the victim, saying I was abused by my ex husband. I could say, he abused me, and I was the innocent victim. And then I further victimize myself thinking I am completely powerless against all abuse and all abusive men.

Well, what was MY role in it?

I ignored the red flags. I allowed him to cross my boundaries early on. I allowed the relationship to move much faster than I would have preferred. I stayed with him, even after the first warning signs of disrespect and disregard.

No, i was not responsible for HIS behavior or HIS choice to abuse me, but I AM responsible for my OWN behavior and my OWN choices to accept the red flags, the boundary crossing, and the first signs of disrespect.

Do you see what I am saying here?

We must FULLY OWN our choices and behaviors and NOT blame others for our choice or decision to participate in something that is less than what we desire.

In the end, you took an important step to protect yourself and blocked him, which is what I would have done too. You took a proactive step, took control of the situation, and ended it - good for you!

Your reply touched a nerve to be honest. Perhaps you be treated better? Well its my fault, even if i did nothing wrong, my fault. So out of no fault of mine, he acts like a jerk, thats my fault. Even if he is a jerk, I have a go at him and get blocked. Never good enough. I am hurt. So youre saying I deserve it. Im not a victim but I always attract narcs and users. My whole life, i have had a couple of men do the same. I have been friends with men and they mention sex. How is that my fault? They always think about sex. So its my fault because he thinks about sex. I have a go at them, thats why I am blocked all the time. If I raise my standards too high, no one will date me. I have been through 10 years of emotional abuse with a narc. Men are cnts though. They cheat, lie, abuse. Oh yeah always my fault am done with this forum, I will be leaving. I am blaming men because it always fking happens. I do not trust my mind. I have been through a trauma bond. God, I do not know why I risked sharing my rants. Christ almighty I do not want to be on this planet anymore, I am sick of it. I have never been this angry and upset on a stupid forum.

Have Hope · 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greberc83

Your reply touched a nerve to be honest. Perhaps you be treated better? Well its my fault, even if i did nothing wrong, my fault. So out of no fault of mine, he acts like a jerk, thats my fault. Even if he is a jerk, I have a go at him and get blocked. Never good enough. I am hurt. So youre saying I deserve it. Im not a victim but I always attract narcs and users. My whole life, i have had a couple of men do the same. I have been friends with men and they mention sex. How is that my fault? They always think about sex. So its my fault because he thinks about sex. I have a go at them, thats why I am blocked all the time. If I raise my standards too high, no one will date me. I have been through 10 years of emotional abuse with a narc. Men are cnts though. They cheat, lie, abuse. Oh yeah always my fault am done with this forum, I will be leaving. I am blaming men because it always fking happens. I do not trust my mind. I have been through a trauma bond. God, I do not know why I risked sharing my rants. Christ almighty I do not want to be on this planet anymore, I am sick of it. I have never been this angry and upset on a stupid forum.

It's clear that you have been abused, and I am very, very sorry for that. My words are being twisted and misinterpreted because you are getting triggered.

I wasn't blaming you.. did you read my last reply? I laid out that it's a dance between TWO people, where both have a responsibility in the matter.

I think you need some professional assistance and a therapist to help you overcome the abuse you have suffered. You are triggered and feel blamed when there is no blaming. I think you need professional counseling to help you through some of these issues.

Tart Cherry Jam · Today, 06:51 AM

Your last post confused me. I thought it was YOU who blocked this guy you were tired of, in the end. But now you are saying that you get blocked all the time. Do you mean that THEY block you, that men block you as a rule?

divine1966 · Today, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

Your last post confused me. I thought it was YOU who blocked this guy you were tired of, in the end. But now you are saying that you get blocked all the time. Do you mean that THEY block you, that men block you as a rule?

From my understanding he blocked her after she had “a go at him” (not sure if it was yelling or verbally attacking as it could mean many things) but then he unblocked her like nothing happened and then she blocked him. It seems that other men block in the same way after OP confronts them about their inappropriate behaviors. At least that’s how I read it

divine1966 · Today, 08:25 AM

I am very sorry you are struggling.

You are correct that many people only want sex and aren’t interested in anything else.

Usually it’s pretty apparent soon after you interact with them. In real life they’d insist to go to your house or invite to theirs before they even get to know you. Online they’ll send sex stuff and request sex stuff. It happens right away. Not a month later

I think what might be contributing to you getting blocked by these men as when they engage in their sexual talk or sending you sex stuff, you go along with it and thus they might be under impression that you are enjoying it.

So after you have “a go at them” (not sure if you just tell them to leave you alone or confront them in other manner), they block you because they don’t want to continue the interaction as it’s not what they are after.

I think the only way to avoid interactions with these type of men is to not partake at all. If you meet them online, don’t respond, don’t talk, don’t send stuff. If it’s in real life, make sure you are always in a public place so you can safely walk away.

I also wonder if you could avoid a platform you are meeting these men on. Is it particular website? Chat room? Maybe you can look at different places to meet people? I get that this guy is from high school times but what about others

Tart Cherry Jam · Today, 11:57 AM

I agree with Divine — @Greberc83, you first create a certain expectation by going along. Your OP says that you said ok, yeah, and engaged, and even got photographed in a wig, but eventually got tired of it. That saying ok, yeah created a certain expectation.

Greberc83 · Today, 12:03 PM

I understand I will just move on i cant think straight

Rose76 · Today, 12:11 PM

It is good to avoid doing things that are morally wrong, which I believe you are already doing. However, just because a thing is not morally wrong doesn't mean it is a smart thing to do. Most of why people get victimized is not because they did anything wrong. It's more likely because they were ineffective at protecting themselves from those who will do wrong.

This guy you are tired of sounds to me like a very immoral person, who will lie at the drop of a hat. He lies, betrays and takes advantage wherever he can. Just being an innocent person, who does nothing wrong, will not protect you. You have to protect yourself by being wise. It is very unwise to believe anything from a person who has not proven to be trustworthy. If you continue being as trusting as you've been, you will keep getting victimized over and over. You don't deserve that, but that's what will happen.

divine1966 · Today, 12:51 PM

I don’t think it’s immoral or morally wrong to have sexual conversations or sending sexual messages or ask others for it.

As long as it’s consensual and people are up front about their intentions and nobody is being lied to. My warning about people being blackmailed is because it happens to people, but it doesn’t happen to everyone if you practice safety. It’s just not a safe thing to do it with strangers. Dangerous.

But I don’t think casual encounters, sex talk or kinks are inherently immoral whatsoever.

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