Why do you think I can’t date another else other then my boyfriend?

Is this the same issue as before or something different?

You said you’ve been arranging sex with strangers but now you are having a boyfriend? Yes you are allowed to break up with anyone. Regardless of a guardianship issue

"Why do you think I can’t date another else other then my boyfriend?" How does your boyfriend feel about this?

I still think it would be better to have one thread rather than many offshoots. The core issue you are discussing remains the same; you are adding detail rather than starting a new thread.

I happen to have just read a small and very helpful book "Solving the Procrastination Puzzle by Timothy Pychyl, PhD, a Canadian researched who spent 20 years conducting research on procrastination before he wrote this very accessible book. If you want to read my very detailed notes, they are here: https://mysupportforums.org/7567459-post409.html

They would be relevant to you because procrastination is largely an issue of impulse control, when impulsivity drives one to indulge in short-term gains foregoing long-term goals and tasks, ultimately to one's great detriment. There is more to procrastination, but impulse control is definitely a big part of it. The notes from the chapter that is most relevant to your issue are pasted below:

Chapter 9. What's Bred in the Bone: Personality and Procrastination.

Mantra: "My personality might put me at risk, but I can adapt."

Procrastination draws on our ability to deceive ourselves. We find excuses for just about any unnecessary delay. One even has to be careful with activities that are supposed to be good for us. For example, it is a good idea to tidy up our desk before we sit down to work at the computer, but be careful and resist the temptation to stop after the desk is tidied, thinking "That's enough for today!"

What if our procrastination is based on a fear of failure? Challenge your worries and beliefs as they arise.

It is possible to act out of character, meaning despite those stable personality traits that raise the risk of procrastination. Personality is not an excuse. In fact, acknowledging and addressing our limitations can develop some of our greatest strengths.

Meaning, you do not have to always act in accordance with your impulse control disorder; you are not a slave to it and can rise above it. It is more difficult for you because you have a disorder, more difficult than for someone with simply stable, rigid, entrenched personality traits, but it is possible.

If you do not want to modify the behavior and instead want to continue acting on impulse, it will be far classier to have an open relationship arrangement with the boyfriend rather than cheat on him. A ton has been written in recent years on this topic and you can read up before having that conversation with the boyfriend. A relationship can be open unilaterally, meaning that if you boyfriend prefers to be a one-woman man and you prefer to have many men, you can agree to this arrangement. He will feel better knowing that you are honest with him, and you will feel better not being talked down to as if he were your therapist. You will get to keep this boyfriend, if that is what you want, but you will also have other dates. It seems that your boyfriend will be game to this plan, because he has already tolerated your cheating and his suspicions, and a direct conversation about opening the relationship is better than your cheating behind his back. So that is probably your best bet. Your guardian will have the peace of mind knowing that the boyfriend who was already approved by the guardian is still in your life. You will get to make decisions regarding those other men, and the guardian will have to live with it, as you are not limited in your decision-making capacity outside of medical treatment choices.

Obviously, you will need to be super careful about contraception and disease prevention. A small IUD for women who have not borne children and consistent use of condoms would probably be your best bet. Modern IUDs can be inserted for 5-7 years. You will need your guardian's approval for that, because it is medical treatment. Do you think your guardian will approve? How have you handled contraception so far, with the knowledge of your guardian?

I have been reading all your posts.

if you have a medical guardianship that means that you have a therapist, doctors, and lawyers that is making special rules just for you,

its their job to monitor your activities and behaviors and set rules that will keep you healthy and safe. they make these rules based on your own special problems and your own living situation.

having a medical guardianship means you cannot do what other people online are doing or what they tell you to do.

you must follow what your therapists tell you, not what others online tell you.

I know having a medical guardianship is hard. it sets alot of rules about things like what you can and cant do, what personal items you are allowed to have, where you can and cant live and what you can and cant do with relationships.and having to report to others what you are doing, where you are going and who you are having sex with and other people must approve before you are allowed to do things.

having a medical guardianship means you have to talk with your therapist and lawyers about your relationship questions.

we cant help you with your questions because we are not on medical guardianship for bad sexual behaviors.

what we think about sex and relationships dont apply to you because you have special rules you have to follow that are not going to match what other people think and do.

you need to tell your therapist and lawyers your questions about relationships and sex, they will tell you what you can and cant do and what you must do. we cant do that.

Im not going to suggest any books or resources or laws for you because they probably are not allowed where you live and the rules that you have for your medical guardianship.

your lawyers and therapist can tell you any laws that apply to you, any resources like books that they want you to have and read that is allowed on your special treatment plan.

medical guardianship for sexual behaviors means you have to do what your therapists and lawyers say is your treatment plans, not what we here do.

Im sorry you are finding medical guardianship is restricting your sexuality, relationships and what you can and cant do, and that its hard for you to understand why they are making you do things differently than those not on guardianship.

but you need to talk with your therapist and ask them these sex and relationship questions not us, since you have a medical guardianship because of bad sexual behaviors.

In response to your headliner, why can’t you date anyone else except my boyfriend. This is standard behavior for most people, who have a boyfriend/girlfriend to NOT date other people. It’s an unwritten rule that once it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend situation you agree to only date that one person. It is especially to not to have sex with multiple partners when you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. It’s just not done. Society has rules.

I agree with that but just want to point that some people have their own relationship rules. They are polyamorous or in open relationships etc It’s whatever they as a couple decide. So it’s literally up to them as a couple so we absolutely cannot advise why she can’t or can do with whoever.

@amandalouise, I didn't realize that medical guardianship stretches that far and covers relationships, too. I assumed it was limited to medical treatment.

In my experience with people who are under full guardianship, sexual relationships are falling into medical category because it involves their health: protection, pregnancy, STD etc It doesn’t involve relationship in a sense that a person needs permission to have ice cream with a neighbor. That doesn’t fall into medical.

Legal guardianship limits one’s freedoms and rights pretty significantly but Amanda is right that it’s very individually based. OP needs to talk to guardian and doctor/therapist about exact things she can and cannot do.

We simply don’t know what type of guardianship OP is under and why. It’s tricky. We’ve been all trying to help but after I’ve read Amanda’s post I think it might be a little dangerous for us to suggest anything. We don’t want to advice something that would cause more problems

That’s an excellent post. Talking to therapist/doctor/lawyer/guardian is the way to go.

for some people it does and for others it doesnt.

medical guardianships are legal situations where what's covered in them, what they restrict a person from doing or can do is legally set to address that one individual person's needs, mental or physical challenges, behavior issues and living situation issues.

I would need permission to hook up with someone if I’m on medical guardianship? What if I do it in secret? I’m an adult and have every right to!

You should talk to your guardian and to your doctor and therapist. We don’t know what’s in your paperwork. It’s highly individualized.

Yes you can probably do things in secret but we can’t advise it on here. We don’t know you or your particular situation

You do have rights, but your rights might be somewhat limited because you are under a guardianship.

Please discuss it with your care team. They will have a better idea what you could or could not do in this situation.

talk to your guardian, therapist and lawyer.

they are the ones you have to take these questions to.

they will tell you what you can and cant do on your medical guardianship.

they will tell you what the consequences are for you about doing things in secret without their permission.

we cannot answer your questions about what you can and cant do. or what will happen if you do things in secret.

the people to ask about these things is your guardian, therapist and lawyer.

I am only on medical guardianship. What rights would you think that is limited because of it?

None of us know as we didn’t see your guardianship paperwork. It’s individualized. Not all guardianship paperwork is the same. Please ask your doctor/therapist and your guardian to explain what’s in your paperwork

Have you familiarized yourself with the guardianship paperwork? That is probably the place to start, before taking your questions anywhere.