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#1
Aug 21, 2026, 06:56 PM
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My boyfriend’s sister in law recently gave birth to a baby boy 2 weeks ago. He was called to the hospital to drop off baby’s car seat and took his mum because she wanted to see the baby. I was at work so did not get to go. We have not heard from them as yet on when we can see the baby.
This is such a monumental moment for me because I’ve never seen a newborn before and since living in Australia for 26 years, I have never seen the births of all my nieces and nephews’ (South Africa). I also had a really “close” friend or so I thought until they messaged me one day to say they had a baby and didn’t even tell me they were expecting. I know I sound silly and juvenile but I am Also a deeply sensitive person and really take a lot of things to heart and I feel really hurt that my partner and his mum has seen the baby and I haven’t. I am hurt that they haven’t invited me to see the baby. So my question is : what’s the appropriate/usual time for family to visit a newborn? |
 Ruftin
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#2
Aug 22, 2026, 12:53 PM
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Many new parents do not want other people visiting the baby because newborns’ immune systems are not able to fight off viruses. You may need to wait until the parents get the okay from the doctor or they feel comfortable with other people around their child. It may be some months.
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 Open Eyes, Ruftin, SmugBRAT, unaluna
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#3
Aug 22, 2026, 01:18 PM
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There are no rules. Each family is different.
Two weeks? It’s not long enough for you to be upset about not seeing the baby. Not long enough to expect going to peoples houses if they just brought a baby home. There’s no need to take it personal. New mom is still recovering. It also depends on what’s your relationship with these people? Are you regularly seeing them, talking etc? If you are very close, they’ll likely to invite you soon. Or if you are close to them, you can ask to see the baby, well maybe not now. But a bit later. I do understand you wanting to meet the baby. But your needs are likely not their priority at the moment. They are adjusting to having a newborn. |
| Blueberrybook, Ruftin, SmugBRAT, unaluna
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#4
Aug 22, 2026, 08:43 PM
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Also some people arrive to see baby un-invited and the parents feel obliged to let the come have a look. I would message the parents, congratulate them on the arrival of the baby and let them know that when they are comfortable (no rush) to have visitors you'd love to come and see their new bubby.
__________________
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| Blueberrybook, Molinit, mortality, Tart Cherry Jam
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#5
Aug 23, 2026, 08:28 AM
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I have to add that you can’t compare grandmother seeing her grandbaby the first time and you, brother’s girlfriend, not meeting it yet. Grandparents are completely different and just not comparable here. Not in the same category.
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| Ruftin
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| Blueberrybook, Molinit, Ruftin
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#6
Aug 24, 2026, 12:46 AM
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It's cool and nice that you're intrigued by the baby though. I never saw a newborn until my much younger siblings were born and it was transformative. It changed my entire personality. Maybe make an offer to bring a small congratulatory gift. Assuming your relationship continues, you may get more chances to be a sort of uncle/aunt figure. But I bet the parents are just focused on their new baby and the lack of an offer is nothing personal towards you.
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| Ruftin, unaluna
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#7
Yesterday, 09:39 PM
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The parents might be overwhelmed.
The baby might be colicky. The mom might have had a difficult birth and is still recovering. They might be afraid of visitors bringing in germs, as Molinit said (the risk is overstated for full-term breastfed babies, who have strong immunity from their mother, arriving many times a day, but you are not going to argue with people and convince them there is little risk, are you?). The parents might be superstitious (you are definitely not going to argue with superstitious people); there are a number of traditional beliefs about how long the baby and new mom should stay in seclusion (could be up to 40 days). Your enthusiasm for holding a real newborn is laudable; could you offer to cook a meal that is easy to heat, pack, and drop off at their place, and make it clear that you don't expect to be invited in or entertained?
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Zyprexa 3.75 mg, back to Zyprexa but at a reduced dose Naltrexone 25 mg Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - Hypothyroidism - Obesity |
| Ruftin
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