Was this harm reduction or did I just find a new SH method?

I recommend getting professional help. How are you feeling now?

I’m getting forced treatment on a conditional discharge and one of the buildings just blew up. Haven’t slept in over 80 hours, blew a bunch of money on unicorn underwear and sheet music (I play violin but got sick of paying .25 to print out free usually incorrect sheets). Am hearing arguing that’s not there, got a bad (a lot of) injury a couple weeks ago and I don’t know how the police are suspicious because I couldn’t tell them who was abusing me but I don’t remember any fighting. Every time I talk to my CM I spiral. My pdoc gave me a raise but I always have to wait until the end of the week to start it because state hospital conditional discharge med monitoring bs and I don’t really have the patience for that.
I’m in love with a straight woman my therapist says things probably just feel more intense because of the mania but I haven’t been in love with anyone like this in 10 years and it just hurts. She keeps giving me DBT skill worksheets but she doesn’t get that I don’t have good intentions much of the time because I’m just trying not to Binge: The Apocalypse part 2 breakdown style all day. Maybe I should take my stomach meds before I trigger that again. Or maybe I should trigger it again.

But I haven’t “help” it’s “Assertive Community Treatment” it’s supposed to beaggressive outpatient but they’re getting so much in the way and it’s making me feel so hopeless and worthless I can’t get a job because I am their bytch. If I miss a phone call I get cuffed and taken back and it was not a good place I saw a very horrific thing happen to a very amazing person by the staff and it broke her. Gave her PTSD. I know I get scared of going back because I won’t handle it a fourth time like this for that long and I’m not gonna come out for a very long time, certainly not anything resembling a real person

But I’m good. That post was a while ago troubles come they pass. Wax on, wax off the clapper.